– When people are asked about the purpose of their actions or their life goals, the common response is often the pursuit of happiness. It reflects a prevailing belief that the journey toward happiness is a central and significant aspect of the human experience.
– Everyone seeks happiness. But who is really the happy person? if I were to ask you this question. What makes you happy? most would respond “I’ll be happy when I have this, or when I achieve that, or when I am with this person or that.”
– Well, life doesn’t always play out the way we envision. As a result, you find yourself in a perpetual waiting game for happiness, often complaining about things not aligning with your expectations or goals not being achieved when expected. So, if you consistently tie your happiness to specific events or individuals and believe you’re not happy until you achieve certain things, then you might not be happy right now or for most of your life. Let’s be real. Plus, the feeling of happiness can be transient. So, People often seek new sources of joy when the initial source no longer provides the same level of satisfaction. And this leads us to this question:
Why does happiness not last?
Let’s talk about what happens to the body when we feel happy. When you desire something, your brain releases dopamine, the motivation hormone. When you achieve your goal, you reach the peak of happiness, and then dopamine levels drop, referring to the completion of the task. It’s like your brain’s way of saying, “Well done, job accomplished”.
After the initial thrill of getting what you wanted, the enjoyment can fade. It’s called hedonic adaptation. Basically, you get used to the new thing, and it doesn’t spark the same joy. It’s like the excitement meter resets, and you start seeking the next thing to keep the cycle going and feel happy again.
– Depending on external sources for happiness might not lead to contentment because you always want more. So, when you say you are not happy, it doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of reasons for happiness; it’s more about an incessant desire for more and it’s hard for you to feel satisfied.
let’s talk about external sources that people normally seek to feel happy:
1- Relying on Material Possessions for Happiness:
If you constantly link your happiness to material things, you might find that nothing is ever enough. We often see people who got what they thought would make them happy but still aren’t. No matter what you have, you always want more. Your attention on what you lack is keeping you from feeling satisfied and happy. It’s not that material things can’t contribute to your happiness—they can sometimes, but the key is not to depend solely on them because once you get used to what you have, it doesn’t make you feel the same way anymore. And even if you have everything that usually brings joy, you might still feel unhappy as true happiness starts from within; it’s a solid foundation that isn’t swayed by what you have or don’t have. Maybe, true happiness isn’t found in what’s yet to be gained but in embracing and cherishing what’s already here.
2- Relying on others for happiness:
If you can’t find happiness and contentment within yourself, expecting someone else to make you happy is a setup for disappointment. Interestingly, many people are searching for someone to make them happy. So, if this is really the case, are you interested in finding someone dependent on others for their happiness? probably not. You want someone who is already happy to be able to make others happy. That way, you’re not relying on an empty well to fill your cup. And the same thing when you are not happy, how will you make others happy? and who is going to be interested in you? It’s about being happy independently, and others can contribute to your happiness. Now, the journey to internal happiness involves self-discovery, and exploring activities and practices that truly bring you inner joy and contentment. While external factors, like relationships, can add to your happiness, the foundation should be rooted in your own sense of well-being.
– So, what should you do then to be happy?
1- The wise thing to do is not seek perpetual happiness. Firstly, it’s an unrealistic expectation. Secondly, constant happiness could lead to a lack of motivation. If you are happy all the time, there will be no drive to set goals, work, learn, or try new things. It might make life seem purposeless because you’ve already achieved the ultimate goal – happiness. Variety in our feelings is crucial for a meaningful life. Feelings like sadness and fear, for example, serve a purpose—they motivate us to pursue goals to protect ourselves from what we fear and make positive changes in tough situations.
Happiness is like any other feeling. You’re not sad, crying, or angry all the time, right? Well, you’re not happy all the time either. So, why go after it your whole life if it’s impossible to have it 24/7? Complaining all the time and avoiding situations just because they don’t make you happy right away is not the wise course of action. The diversity of emotions is there for a reason. So try to embrace all your emotions, instead of just chasing happiness.
2- If you’re only thinking about the future, you’re likely to be unhappy because you may not notice the things around you that can truly make you happy. Your mind is somewhere else, and you could be spending your entire life waiting for just one future moment or event to feel happy. Live in the present moment. It’s good to plan for the future, but don’t focus all your attention on it because nothing is guaranteed.
3- Choosing to be happy every day is within your reach. Happiness isn’t solely tied to significant events; it can be discovered in small moments throughout your daily life. While achieving your dream job or major success can bring happiness, it’s not limited to those big milestones. It’s also present in the small things—like enjoying a good cup of coffee, reading books, or taking a stroll on a rainy day. Recognizing and appreciating these everyday moments can contribute to a more consistent and fulfilling sense of happiness.
4- Pursue meaning and happiness will follow. When there’s meaning in what you do, you will live and be happy.
– What does real happiness mean?
Well, instead of always wanting to be happy, maybe it’s better to just be content. Contentment is the balance among all emotions. It’s the inner peace you feel regardless of the specific emotion you’re experiencing at the moment. Contentment doesn’t mean you’re always happy—it means you can feel sad or other emotions and still feel okay. It’s when life doesn’t unfold the way you wish, and yet you still feel satisfied. Contentment arises when you adapt to and accept your current situation because you know that everything happens for a reason. This sense of being settled from within and at peace is essentially happiness.
Finding contentment demands the strength to master patience. Life doesn’t always go according to your plans, and rather than getting stuck in unhappiness, face the challenges and concentrate on finding solutions. failure isn’t the end; it is a step toward progress. Learn, evolve, and navigate the journey with a resilient spirit.
– Happiness comes from having a purpose in life, which comes from believing in something bigger—like God. And it means you follow God and try to live by the rules He set. Feeling content is about feeling good because you know you’re doing the right thing by following what God teaches. Feeling content arises from placing trust in what God has planned for you.
Contentment emerges when you trust in the wisdom behind every event in your life, understanding that everything happens for a reason. Trusting in God and accepting what comes our way is what makes happiness a choice. When you believe that God is going to reward you for your patience in tough situations you accept whatever happens to you and this leads to feeling content.
– Feeling content and its relation to health:
Fostering a sense of contentment through mindfulness and gratitude can contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling life. Here are some of the health benefits associated with contentment:
1- Enhanced Mental Health: It contributes to lower rates of anxiety and depression.
2- Reinforced Immune System: Contentment is associated with a stronger immune system.
3- Promoting Heart Health: It contributes to lower blood pressure and reduced risk of cardiovascular issues.
– Finally, Be grateful and thankful for what you have. When you’re thankful and take notice of all the gifts you have now, you’ll find abundant reasons to feel happiness and appreciation. And make sure that your happiness originates from within. This makes it a conscious choice rather than something you wait for.
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